I just watched sex in the city. In one way it is as Erin would say, "candy for girls". But this one episode, which I have seen twice now, always makes me feel terrible.

When I started seeing Joel all I wanted was this super non-committal thing where I could be in a different city and have a new exciting friend who happened to be really cute. But now, and it's only been like a month, I’m not really sure. He’s really sweet, and interesting and I really love when ever I get to hang out with him but it feels like I’m the right now girl while he's still looking for the permanent girl.

The problem being I think I could be ready to take a risk with him but is that because I really am ready or because I feel an urgency due to his indifference?

I just don't want to fuck this up like I always do.